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A practical approach to Communication & Spoken English and Misunderstandings 

While working as a Professor in Communication & Soft Skills in reputed university and conducting workshops with other organizations, I came to know that people have a lot of confusion about the understanding of communication. I want to share my experince here.

Three areas of communication 

1. Language (Spoken English) 

2. Communication Skills 

3. Self Confidence for Public Speaking 

1. Language : 

Most students want to develop English communication, so they feel spoken English is the only communication. Even many students have misunderstood that spoken English is the only personality development. Here you have to get clarity English is just language for communication even native of Britan needs communication skills. English is just language, like any other language. 

2. Communicative English 

 Communication is needed to accomplish the goals. To express emotions, to achieve shared understandings, Get the things done, develop the relationship.pass on and obtain the information. Meaning of communication is the response you get.  

3. Self Confidence Building for Public Speaking

Due to shyness or fear, many people can not express their ideas or feelings adequately in front of others even though they are fluent in English. Some times it may indicate shyness, stage fear, public fear etc. 

Conclusion: Spoken English, communicative English and self-confidence building has to deal separately.

How to convert your dream into Goal

If we want to convert the dream into Goal, two important tools are given below.

SMART & 5D

S: Specific 

M: Measurable

A: Achievable 

R: Realistic

T: Time-bound 

Specific: Goal Should be specific; for example, someone says I will do hard work, I will study more, I will earn more money, I can reduce my weight. These are not specific goals. One has to say I can reduce 2 kg in One month, 1-inch belly in one month. I can earn 2 Lakh per month; I will study 3 hours per day,  these are all specific goals.

Measurable: If you can't measure, you can not improve. Measurement is very important. We must have to know whether we are going away from Goal or towards the Goal. 

Achievable: Goal should be achievable 

Realistic: Whatever Goal it should be realistic 

Time-bound: Goals must be time-bound. One must have to give a specific deadline to it. 

D:Direction 

D: Dedication

D:Determination 

D: Discipline 

D: Deadline 

Direction: How fast you are going that is not more important but which direction you are going that is more important. The direction is more important in goal setting. If you want to convert the dream into goal direction is very much important. 

Dedication: It is quality of being committed toward the task or work without full involvement in that work desired result is impossible. So dedication plays a vital role.

Determination: Strong determination is quality of successful people. Failure people will take more time to make a decision and changes the decision very frequently. At the same time, successful people take the decision fast and stick with it. Strong determination is needed to convert the dream into Goal.

Discipline: If a person has everything, for example, knowledge, skill, attitude, but he or she is not disciplined, do you feel that he or she can achieve Goal? No. Certainly not. Discipline is a must to achieve anything. 

Deadline: Without the deadline, it is just a dream. So if we want to convert the dream into Goal, it has to be deadlines. The Goal has to be accomplished in stipulated time then only it is GoalGoal or else dreams.

Positive thinking

What is positive thinking?

Thoughts which empowers us is called positive thought. Good and bad its totaly depends on the culture. same way positive and negative thoughts relates to empowering and disempowering. Which thought empowers us is called positive thoughts. 

How to be positive?

1. Postive thought orientation:

In an average 50-60 thousand thoughts are coming in our mind. We can not separate thoughts. This is positive and that is negative. Its very difficult to eliminate the negative thoughts. But we can do one thing we can focus on positive thoughts, we can gather maximum positive thoughts so that quantity of positive thoughts will be more than negative thoughts. 

2. Reframing:

We reframe the situation so that we can have control over situation. It may be through content reframing or context reframing.

3. Changing the reference point:

Reference points are always the guiding force behind the dicision making. Once reference point changed we have access for new dimenssion. Generally we resond to our previous experiences only.

4. Environment:

If we want to think positive then that kind of frequency has to be there. We should have motivational and encouraging people around us. We have to read motivational books and has to listen motivational speakers. 

5. Emotional control:

Zen yoga says, "What we eat is important but how we eat is more important". 

6. Corrective methods:

Corrective methods has to be implemented at the time of taking impulses in our body. Specifically at the time of eating and drinking we must have to mentain positive emotions. 

7.Changing belief system

Changing the limiting belief one can develop the postive thinking and positive attitude towards the life

8.Focus and clarity

Developing proper focus on goal and geting value clarity one can be more positive.

9. Healty mind in healthy body

There is connection between body and mind. Mind attcets body and body affects mind. So simply practicing " Yogasanas" (Postures) we can change the state of mind.  

10. Good action (karma)

If we engaged in good karma automatically positive thoughts generates in mind. 

What are Stress and  sources of stress

Stress affect or physical and mental health. If we have lesser resources and expectations are more, we feel stressed. Expectations may be physical, psychological, spiritual.

Sources of stress :

• Unproductive and time-consuming meeting
• Hectic travel schedule
• Job insecurity
• Making a presentation in front of the client or a broad audience
• Losing contact with a loved one
• The family member or relatives
• Divorce
• Unemployment
• Hospitalization
• Separation
• Substandard or inadequate housing
• Legal problems
• Intra orr Interpersonal conflict
• Children's problem at school
• Conflict with a team member or supervisor
• Financial problem
• Injury or illness
• Lack of competency  to perform the job
• Sleep problem
• Overweight or underweight
• Being abused or neglected
• Excessive job demands
• Marriage
• Promotion or transfer
• Retirement
• Having a child
• Buying a home
• Starting new jobs
• Taking or Planning a vacation
• Migration

1. Breathe:  make sure that whenever you are stressed out, you breathe deeply and concentrate on your breathing technique. It will help you relax and ease your mind.

2. Smile: A smile can never harm anyone. It's soothing and pleasant. So whenever you are stressed out, try and smile.

3. Talk Positive:  Always talk positive, and only then will you able to have a positive attitude towards life and work.

4. Vacation: Take a short trip somewhere with your friends or loved ones, and enjoy your holiday. It will help you keep the mind off things, and you will return rejuvenated.

5. Let it out: Speak out and express to someone how you feel and what is bothering you. Discussing your problems with someone will always make you feel better.

Hi Farisa,

Congratulations on completing the education under all odds.

Please keep the faith and don't give up.

1. Research the area in which you are applying for jobs.

2. Ensure that your resume is correlating to the job skills.

3. Prepare for interviews.

I wish you the best!

Have you ever experienced becoming fast friends with someone and then gradually the friendship fades and suddenly you no longer share that great bond that you thought you once shared? What causes attachments or for that matter, other emotional relationships to fade away gradually? Well, there can be many reasons attributed to that, but sometimes it just happens without any visible cause. So what happens in such cases?
Many times we misjudge people's reactions and responses towards us. We might be thinking rationally, but still, we can make mistakes in judging other's intentions. It is possible because the aspects of one's day to day life that affects one's behaviour are varied and spread over a broad spectrum of areas. It makes us susceptible to misunderstand people while they may not have any ill feelings about us at all.
This misunderstanding is accepted as a norm, and we often take this into account before reacting to someone and make improvisations in our responses so that we are not misunderstood. Sometimes in doing so we lose the sight of what actually matters in the long run. For instance, making use of stylized emoticons while chatting with someone on WhatsApp has become so common as a norm that if a person does not do that and focuses on the conversation, honestly he or she comes out as rude to the other person. It further entangles the understanding of the hidden emotions or intentions in the conversation.
Human nature is such that we are always concerned to a different extent about what others think of us. We seek some kind of approval of our self-believed notions or our thinking of ourself as a person. Why are we so vulnerable to other's judgement of ourself? The answer partially likes in the fact that we expect others to reciprocate the same amount or more of love, respect, care, friendliness etc. that we think we are giving them.
When we are not satisfied with their reaction or response, we feel cheated and start questioning the response. In doing so, we put the highest weightage in response to something in relation with us while giving little or no weightage to other personal or professional aspects of their life that might affect their mind at the moment of response. It is also possible that our perception of the reaction was different from theirs.
It explains, to some extent, the reason why intelligent or overthinking individuals find it hard to maintain friendships. They put too much thought into every small part of their interaction with their friends that they end up getting all the answers in their minds about how the other person might be feeling while saying something. It eliminates the possibility of confrontation, which is essential in case of some emotional conflict to resolve it and to strengthen the bond of friendship further.
 So what is the remedy of this? One effective way can be not to think much and put too many expectations on your friends. Whatever you do is part of your decision, and it should end as soon as it is done.
Sometimes we should just count what the other person says and not what our mind tells us he or she might be thinking. We should give some space to grey areas where no logic applies and the other person has his or her reasons for behaving the way they behaved in a particular situation.
To sum up, we should not be so fragile to get hurt by mere possible intentions of someone that may not even exist in the first place instead we should don the cap of that more reliable friend to whom others look up to in the times of need.

A smile doesn't cost anything, remember to smile even when things are not going in proper order.

Smile when you hear the birds chirp as your ears are working fine :)

Smile when you eat food as you have food to eat.

Smile as you drink water as its clean.

Smile when you meet someone as someone still is looking forward to meeting you.

Smile when you wake up as you are still alive.

Smile when you sleep as the full day you lived through.

Smile when you are in problems as God gives issues to only those who are capable enough to solve the problem.

Smile anyway to make others smile.

Smile is the cheapest medicine and the most straightforward meditation that can be done a full day without any course or learning.

Being a Success Coach, it is customary for me to help people become successful in life or profession. Unfortunately, there is no trick or pill, which one can perform or swallow to become successful. 

Looking backwards, the #1 question which my students, clients, and acquaintances ask me is

"How do I become successful?" 

Of course, being a success coach, I am always prepared to answer this question. That's, what success coaching is all about. But then, some people ask me the 2nd question, which is

"Is there a secret to be successful?"   

My usual answer has been no. "A big fat NO". As I thought more about it, researched, and evaluated the success of my students, clients, and anyone I coached - including my friends and family member, I realised that I was wrong. Actually, not only I learned, but I also got convinced looking at the data, that there certainly is a secret to success. And I want to share with all of you today. The #1 secret to being successful is very simple and can be summed up in just two words:

"Take Action". 

Yes, all my students, clients, friends, or family members, achieved success or didn't because they either took action or they didn't. It didn't matter if they received a course or certification. It didn't matter if they engaged me as a coach or someone else or no one. But those who took action; they certainly achieved success or at least got the right direction and are now on their journey to success.

Here's the best part, there are only two outcomes of your actions - they are useful actions, or they are not. So if you take the "right action" you would get closer to your success. But don't worry, if the action does not turn out to be right. You will still learn that the action you took was not the right action. Which means you are ready to take the next action. And continue to take actions, which turns out to be right actions, until you achieve what you wanted to. So let me revise the secret as follows:

"Take Continuous and Multiple Actions until you succeed". 

So for all those, who can't talk to me or are not sure to engage a success coach, don't worry. Just take action and repeat till you succeed.

I wish you success in 2019 and beyond!Coach Naval